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Triangulation
published as "Sorting the Laundry" in Country Magazine August/September 2007
March 3, 2005
Settling into the straw, I am grateful for a quiet moment after a 12 hour workday followed by all the necessary personal conversations that help quell the firestorms of every day life. My family verbally unloads their day like so much stored up laundry needing the wash, rinse and spin cycle completed before tomorrow dawns. I move from child to child to child to husband to grandmother, hoping to help each one dry, fold and sort everything in their pile. Not to be outdone, I pile up a little dirty laundry of my own as I ventilate about my day.
On spent cycle myself, I retreat to the barn where communication is less demanding and requires more than just my ears and vocal cords and complaints are futile. It is here in this place a new foal and his vigilant mama are watching my every move.
This colt is intrigued by my intrusion into his 12' x 24' world. His mother is annoyed. He comes over to sniff my foot and his mother swiftly moves him away with a quick swing of her hips, daunting me with the closeness of her heels. Her first instinct insists she separate me from him and bar my access. My mandate is to woo her over. I could bribe her with food, but that is too easy.
A curry comb is best. If nothing else will work, a good scratching always does. Standing up, I start peeling sheets of hair off her neck, her sides, her flank and hindquarter and she relaxes in response to my efforts, giving her baby a body rub with her muzzle, wiggling her lips all up and down from his back to his tummy. He is delighted with this spontaneous mommy massage and leans into her, moving around so his hind end is under her mouth and his front end is facing me. Then he starts giving his own version of a massage too, wiggling his muzzle over my coat sleeve and wondrously closing this little therapeutic triangle.
Here we are, a tight little knot of givers/receivers with horse hair flying in a cloud about us. One weary human, one protective mama mare and one day-old foal, who is learning so young how to contribute to the well being of others. It is an incredible gift of trust they bestow on me like a blessing and I realize this horse family is helping me sort my own laundry in the same way I had helped with my human family's load.
Too often in life we find ourselves in painful triangles, passing our kicks and bites down the line to each other rather than providing needed relief and respite. We find ourselves unable to wrench free from continuing to deliver the hurts we've just received. What strength it takes to respond with kindness when the kick has just landed on our backside. How chastened we feel when a kindness is directed at us, as undeserving as we are after having bitten someone hard.
Instead of biting, try massaging. Instead of kicking, try tickling. Instead of fear, try acceptance. Instead of annoyance, try patience. Instead of piling up so much laundry of your own, try washing, folding and sorting what is given to you by others, handing it back all ready for the next day.
Just settle into the straw and wait, and amazing things can happen.
Emily
http://www.briarcroft.com/emily.htm