A typical Saturday on the farm and the resulting calorie balance:
Wake suddenly at 4:15 AM to the sound of hooves knocking on wood in the barn-- -10 calories
Throw bathrobe on, climb in barn boots and race to the barn-- -50 calories
Look up and down the barn aisle and find one stall with no face looking back at you and find Haflinger cast upside down looking up as if to say "what took you so long?"-- -15 calories
Grab rope, loop around front foot, stand back and pull Haflinger back over to its tummy-- -75 calories
Hug grateful Haflinger-- -5 calories
Throw everyone a morning snack and tell them you'll be back later-- -20 calories
Walk back to house and crawl back in bed-- -10 calories
Wake to 5:30 AM alarm and do one hour of computer work-- -5 calories
Eat breakfast-- +350 calories
Go back out to the barn to do morning chores, lead 3 mares to winter paddock-- -40 calories each
Lead older gelding to winter paddock-- -10 calories
Lead dancing weanling to winter paddock-- -50 calories
Lead 2 squirrelly two year olds to winter paddock-- -75 calories each
Haul water to paddocks because hose is frozen -- -200 calories
Trip over barn cat-- -30 calories
Push wheelbarrow with two hay bales up hill to winter paddock-- -100 calories
Fight off Haflingers while trying to distribute hay in paddocks-- -100 calories
Go back in the house for nap-- -5 calories
Go back out to the barn to clean, start in stallion stall, try to lift 40 lbs of manure all in one pitchfork since he piles it all up in one spot-- -75 calories
Scold stallion who is annoyed because you are removing his bathroom spot and proves it by dropping manure precisely in the spot you just cleaned-- -10 calories
Chase stallion down the barn aisle when he decides to dump over the wheelbarrow sitting in the open stall doorway and make his escape-- -75 calories
Catch stallion and lead him back to exile in his own stall/paddock-- -10 calories
Clean 8 more stalls, make 4 trips to the manure mountain and push wheelbarrow uphill to dump-- -250 calories
Trip over a different barn cat-- -30 calories
Haul 18 loads of fresh shavings back to stalls, and spread out in nine stalls-- -150 calories
Scrub and fill 18 water buckets with finally thawed out hose-- -100 calories
Go back in the house for hot chocolate-- +250 calories
Another nap-- -5 calories
Lunch-- +500 calories
Chase two year olds who have lifted their gate off its hinges and have escaped into the orchard and are tanking up on old apples on the ground-- -200 calories
Catch two year olds and put them back in the barn and watch for colic symptoms-- -100 calories
Eat chocolate for consolation-- +200 calories
Bring mares back to barn for the night, untangle manes, pick hooves and brush out-- -50 calories each
Trip over another barn cat-- -30 calories
Bring gelding back to barn for the night, untangle mane, pick hooves and brush out-- -20 calories
Bring dancing weanling back to the barn and attempt to pick hooves and brush out-- -75 calories
Ignore naughty two year olds-- 0 calories
Feed vitamins and grain, hay and check water-- -50 calories
Dinner-- +800 calories
Go back to the barn to turn out lights, check water and say good night-- -30 calories
Bowl of ice cream and chocolate chip cookie-- +350 calories
Watch self for colic symptoms-- 0 calories
Hot bath-- -5 calories
Collapse in bed-- 0 calories
Climb on scale in the morning. No change.
Emily at Gym BriarCroft--still fluffy. What am I doing wrong?